this is the preposterously crazed blog of carissa
o death, where is thy victory? o death where is thy sting? ~1cor 15:55

BRAIN DRAIN!

prolonged band = BRAIN DRAIN

i feel like i'm falling sick.. HANG ON MAN! only.. erm.. 4 days?.. yikes-ed..




link

This is Carissa, signing out

the sun will come out, tomorrow
wait for me.. for waiting for you, have i always been

erm..

no title bahs..

i dunno what i'm feeling. somehow, stepping down from band seems so great, no more constraints, i can go if i want, not if i don't. no more headaches or stress to get everything right. yet, i'm so going to miss it, all the friends i've made there over the four years.. fine three and abit. i mean, it's practically been all the friends i've had for the past few years in high school! sharon, michelle, julia, karmen, rayner.. wenlong even. and evian? dude! all band ppl! until more recently, there've been some really great 3e/4e ppl too. i just hope that, after this coming tuesday, everything will remain. that, even though that one common thing will be but a memory, that our friendships will grow stronger and everything. it's not supposed to end. just let it be the same. dear Lord, now comes the real test. though all this, from now till august, please enable me to keep those friendships and continue to grow them in you. i hope that those friends that i have now made, are not temporary. but that will last.




might want to check foreveramen.sofamily.ws for daily updates.


This is Carissa, signing out

wait for me.. for waiting for you, have i always been

wait..

wait.. such a foreign word.



what a wonderful world.. yeah.. hw piled up to the dunno where.

link



This is Carissa, signing out

wait for me.. for waiting for you, have i always been

preacher's kid

nobody is perfect.

bottom line. very nice episode. i like it. i like quite a few episodes.. i think i need to narrow my favorites to some.


no matter how much you may disappoint me, i will never stop loving you ~george barclay

george said this to donna at the end of the episode. i think it's a good reminder. and i think that it's like that with the Lord too. i'm never not loved, even if i do the darkest things.




link out for today's stuff.

This is Carissa, signing out

i know a place where no one's lost, i know a place where no one cries..

clariNUTs... WEIRDO section..
but a very intriguing one at that.


link lar!






This is Carissa, signing out

i know a place where no one's lost, i know a place where no one cries..

WOAH JUSTINE!

LOOOOOOOOOONG POST JUSTINE!



just realized, after spending all my money, how hard it is to get things that match pokey. he's like, totally hard to match and the thing is.. i spent almost a 100 bucks! yikes-ed, oh wells... that is so michelle.. ANYWAYS.

i'm feeling rather hwguilty.. Laugh








This is Carissa, signing out

i know a place where no one's lost, i know a place where no one cries..

over stretched

seriously... crazed out.


nearing 4plus, 5ish today, we played overture, d. and it was like... all clarinet, flute and picc and oboe. and i was getting super tired. i actually almost dozed off during practice.. and while playing which is super dumb. i pressed so crap hard on the piccolo, cos tired mah, cannot pitch so somehow it registers to push harder. and my teeth are like.. dislocated. it moves, now a little better but still painful when i press on it. BOTTOM LINE, i'm freaky tired.

since was going to go for that expensive lunch with my juniors on friday, thought i'd put piano lessons on thursday, then go a little earlier for band, do a little long note exercises. i need those, cos my playing is deteriorating, neglecting the basics... anyways, totally forgot about that chinese tuition, also on thursday at the same time. WA LAO! i already don't get anything from it to begin with.. and now i'm crazed out to go for it AND piano lessons, which, in case i missed to mention, is beginning to piss me as well. two things that are getting my my nerves are pushing their way in, perfect.. i feel like just not going for tuition totally, ponning, in another words, or just camping out in school or something.. dear Lord please show me a way out of this..




i admit, my priorities may be messed to some ppl. i guess normal humans but studies and tuition first then cca. or maybe some musics crazy ppl put band concurrent with tuition in priorities. but here, i guess, band is like.. i dunno, just this time which, although gets me irritated at times.. makes me feel, peaceful and.. well, relaxed? i dunno. and at the same time do what i like, flute-ing, that's not a word but OH WELLS. i'm getting really annoyed when people talk as if band is no big deal. DUDE! it's extremely insulting and i have feelings to. and pls don't forget that i am HUMAN. i got limits, and i'm not a very tolerant person either. push a little and i blow. just like with the flutes...

does it really help? is it really bringing out the best in me? or is it bringing out the worst? did you put me through this to make me better? or to make me worse? in all that's happened, it's only caused me more harm than good. do you really want to see me angry, irritated and annoyed all the time? do you really want me to feel that home isn't hom-ey and that there is not what warmth there should be? is that supposed to be consistent in homes?





i wanna hug my piccolo and sleep for the rest of the year..





i'm still holding to the hope that my juniors will one day realize how much band means to me. but if they don't, it's okay, because i know it, and i know a person who knows it, and i also know that my best of best of best friends knows too.


This is Carissa, signing out

there is a castle on the cloud.. i wish i could go there in my sleep, and not wake up till my worries are gone..

link dude


if you see no post here try foreveramen, it is usually updated.

DE

lessons, not so bad. everything after that.. was absolutely horrible.

look, what you guys do will impact me, it may hurt, but i'm not going to get lost from behind you. you can't change my feelings with words or actions.









This is Carissa, signing out

there is a castle on the cloud, i like to go there in my sleep. there are no floors for me to sweep, there in my castle on the cloud.

SORRY MICHELLE!

official apology for dropping my flute headjoint!
basically cos my dear junior gets super untight when i treat my picc better than my flute.. xD

dear Lord please grant me your grace and let her be able to play well..
foreveramen




no hdflgs just








This is Carissa, signing out

cherishing the good times and embracing the bad times

jogathon

check out foreveramen lar..


quite pointless, but i feel that a little interesting. walked around with sharon the whole time literally. so she and me is the 'we' in foreveramen, cos i pretty sure i won't put name lar... or rather i'll think about it.




This is Carissa, signing out

time you never want to forget are times you share with those who have the greatest impact in your life.

SYF09

link.. Winking


names list printed.

two dates that will be quite engraved in me:
April 11, 2007 SYF1
March 31, 2009 SYF2


This is Carissa, signing out

i have let you down

i hate my temper

just get out of here.. link




This is Carissa, signing out

i have let you down