May 2009
Here Again.
27/05/09 22:23
Two
more days of school. Three more days at school. and
the 2nd of June. Just so little more to go.
This week has been wringing so far. And tomorrow's the last "big" one. I've had to stay late everyday except... tues? Of which I was supposed to have tuition, but my teacher cancelled on me. (;D) Tmr sec four farewell. Sighs. Time does fly doesn't it?
Teachers have been putting work on us for hols. Suddenly, June seems too short. Time's running... Its all too short... too short.
I will fail the physics test we took today.
I've apparently got a little running nose, and everyone thinks I look half dead, but I'm really just a little drowsy from the medicine and lack of sleep. Which means, I should get on to finishing my work so I can sleep earlier!!!!
Not helpful that swine flu has finally hit Sg. But its really the pressures of the last week. You'd think it would get lighter! In my dreams.
Random thoughts. (If you knew me well enough, you'd know none of my thoughts are ever random.)
A child called to be. To be called a child. Called to be a child.
I’m not flawless… I have a great weakness too… and this one, you must never know.
Beware of sweet talkers! XD
Okay, enough random advice for now.
WORK.
I'm tired. And no, not exactly happy, but at peace I guess... I guess... I can live. I can just get by, with grace. and with His Love.
God Bless.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
P.s. Carissa's finally agitated at something along my lines.
Justme was thinking at 10.15pm.
This week has been wringing so far. And tomorrow's the last "big" one. I've had to stay late everyday except... tues? Of which I was supposed to have tuition, but my teacher cancelled on me. (;D) Tmr sec four farewell. Sighs. Time does fly doesn't it?
Teachers have been putting work on us for hols. Suddenly, June seems too short. Time's running... Its all too short... too short.
I will fail the physics test we took today.
I've apparently got a little running nose, and everyone thinks I look half dead, but I'm really just a little drowsy from the medicine and lack of sleep. Which means, I should get on to finishing my work so I can sleep earlier!!!!
Not helpful that swine flu has finally hit Sg. But its really the pressures of the last week. You'd think it would get lighter! In my dreams.
Random thoughts. (If you knew me well enough, you'd know none of my thoughts are ever random.)
A child called to be. To be called a child. Called to be a child.
I’m not flawless… I have a great weakness too… and this one, you must never know.
Beware of sweet talkers! XD
Okay, enough random advice for now.
WORK.
I'm tired. And no, not exactly happy, but at peace I guess... I guess... I can live. I can just get by, with grace. and with His Love.
God Bless.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
P.s. Carissa's finally agitated at something along my lines.
Justme was thinking at 10.15pm.
26/05/09 23:00
I
understand that I'm a part of mtv, and that its good
to bond with my group and mix with my fellow group
members. But, its really not my thing. It contradicts
my character (and maybe morals to a certain extent),
flatly.
Anyone who's seen my walk through Youth Ministry, (both with YHOPE and YM), would understand. Oh wait... only one person's seen that. Only God.
No, I don't really know how to explain why I feel I shouldn't go then. Its really difficult. It was difficult then, maybe has become a little better now. I'm just not an ordinary youth. Accept it if you want to. If not, don't try to heap anything on me, cuz I won't compromise my conscience and morals. No peer pressure. Thank you very much.
I'm sorry, though. It'll take ages to explain, so if you're dying to know (I highly doubt it), you'll have to catch me personally. Hopefully I would remember all my reasons.
Why don't you just ignore me? ):< Does it really matter if I'm there or not anyways?
Anyways, PHYSICS!!!!! D:
If you want to think, don't forget to think with God.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justme was thinking at 11.00pm.
Anyone who's seen my walk through Youth Ministry, (both with YHOPE and YM), would understand. Oh wait... only one person's seen that. Only God.
No, I don't really know how to explain why I feel I shouldn't go then. Its really difficult. It was difficult then, maybe has become a little better now. I'm just not an ordinary youth. Accept it if you want to. If not, don't try to heap anything on me, cuz I won't compromise my conscience and morals. No peer pressure. Thank you very much.
I'm sorry, though. It'll take ages to explain, so if you're dying to know (I highly doubt it), you'll have to catch me personally. Hopefully I would remember all my reasons.
Why don't you just ignore me? ):< Does it really matter if I'm there or not anyways?
Anyways, PHYSICS!!!!! D:
If you want to think, don't forget to think with God.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justme was thinking at 11.00pm.
Photo update. 
24/05/09 17:46
Did
I say we were watching Pride and Prejudice yesterday
and Friday? Ya. (on Fri we watched till like
1.30am... hehehe...) Anyways, was quite nice
actually. Jane Austen's a genius at writing. I wish I
could write like that.
I realized I still haven't finished reading Mansfield Park. I'm reading too many books at once, and not finishing anything. -.- Jane Eyre, Bird by
Bird, Mansfield Park, My Focus on God, and I'm sure there's some more.
Here's some pics Carissa took of me yesterday. I would post the pics I took of
her and Mom, but I still haven't taken out of my
camera yet. :P
Me and my camera! (and Carissa's bed. Mine is always made... XD)
Yay... O.o... oh, why can you see my feet in the background... ignore that. Ignore the shine too. -.- D:
Really awful photos of me, but the point is the camera. (:
Oh btw, today we went shopping too! I bought two necklaces, three
pairs of earrings, and Mom bought me two pairs
of shorts.
I don't have any non-school shoes other than heels/slippers?? O_O
One week more!!! (English practice test on fri, physics on wed. D
Gonna die, gonna die.... May this week be quick!!! Please????
Letter also come soon please?
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 5.46pm.
I realized I still haven't finished reading Mansfield Park. I'm reading too many books at once, and not finishing anything. -.- Jane Eyre, Bird by
Bird, Mansfield Park, My Focus on God, and I'm sure there's some more.
Here's some pics Carissa took of me yesterday.
I would post the pics I took of
her and Mom, but I still haven't taken out of my
camera yet. :P
Me and my camera! (and Carissa's bed. Mine is always made... XD)
Yay... O.o... oh, why can you see my feet in the background... ignore that. Ignore the shine too. -.- D:
Really awful photos of me, but the point is the camera. (:
Oh btw, today we went shopping too!
I bought two necklaces, three
pairs of earrings, and Mom bought me two pairs
of shorts.
I don't have any non-school shoes other than heels/slippers?? O_O
One week more!!! (English practice test on fri, physics on wed. D
Gonna die, gonna die.... May this week be quick!!! Please????
Letter also come soon please?
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 5.46pm.
A long forgotten kind of Saturday.
23/05/09 19:38
Mom
how could you!!!!!!! D: Hey, today I planned to do
loads of work... but it didn't really work out...
hehe..... But this time it wasn't really ALL my
fault... XD. Mom and Dad wanted to go to that
Convention thingy at Suntec, and since Car and I
wanted Cameras, they asked us along...
So now I have a camera. ;D!!!
And since we were at Suntec, and I needed a black dress... XD Yay. And the store gives these cloth handbag-ish bags instead of the usual plastic ones.
I love shopping. But I have to put in, we took ages to get the cameras, and only like less than thirty, maybe twenty minutes, to get my dress. Hm.... now maybe I can get some shoes... a new handbag... XD Fine... Must wait for June... I want June to come fast! Must go shopping... XD
Anyways, we also ate some buffet thingy at suntec, and there was this measuring tape, you know the kind they use to measure you to see if you're considered a kid or adult to pay? So I stood in front of the thing, and asked Carissa if I was 160 yet... ;D... cuz it looked like I actually was.... but then she reminded me (I really forgot...)
"But you're wearing heels Justine..."
D: .......
Right...
Okay, most of today's burnt, I've got to get more work in.
But somehow, I feel quite smiley inside, even though "You're not sorry"'s blasting off my laptop. This is the kind of peace and joy
we all seek I guess... I'm extremely thankful
that God gave us this day. Its a kind of day I
haven't been through for a long long time... Sec
school... *sighs*
But I'm glad. I really am.
Thank you God. May God bless you all too!
Loves,
Justme Justine.
P.s. Sorry for the poor composition of this entry, I just wrote down what came to mind. ;D
Justme was smiling at 7.29pm
So now I have a camera. ;D!!!
And since we were at Suntec, and I needed a black dress... XD Yay. And the store gives these cloth handbag-ish bags instead of the usual plastic ones.
I love shopping. But I have to put in, we took ages to get the cameras, and only like less than thirty, maybe twenty minutes, to get my dress. Hm.... now maybe I can get some shoes... a new handbag... XD Fine... Must wait for June... I want June to come fast!
Must go shopping... XD
Anyways, we also ate some buffet thingy at suntec, and there was this measuring tape, you know the kind they use to measure you to see if you're considered a kid or adult to pay? So I stood in front of the thing, and asked Carissa if I was 160 yet... ;D... cuz it looked like I actually was.... but then she reminded me (I really forgot...)
"But you're wearing heels Justine..."
D: .......
Right...
Okay, most of today's burnt, I've got to get more work in.
But somehow, I feel quite smiley inside, even though "You're not sorry"'s blasting off my laptop.
This is the kind of peace and joy
we all seek I guess... I'm extremely thankful
that God gave us this day. Its a kind of day I
haven't been through for a long long time... Sec
school... *sighs*
But I'm glad. I really am.
Thank you God. May God bless you all too!
Loves,
Justme Justine.
P.s. Sorry for the poor composition of this entry, I just wrote down what came to mind. ;D
Justme was smiling at 7.29pm
22/05/09 22:50
I
need to spend one day.
Just one day.
Away.
It'll help... I'm sure.
On a lighter note, today's module, Qing Dynasty, was actually fun!
Bye for now.
Loves,
Justme Justine
Justine was thinking at 10.43pm
Or maybe I need to fly forever.
Just one day.
Away.
It'll help... I'm sure.
On a lighter note, today's module, Qing Dynasty, was actually fun!
Bye for now.
Loves,
Justme Justine
Justine was thinking at 10.43pm
Or maybe I need to fly forever.
A thing or two.
21/05/09 21:35
Yay,
the blog works again!
Little much I can say at this point...
I know things are going to get better. They are!!!! With God's grace. and
with His Love.
I'm going to live up to what I know. No more excuses.
I don't want anymore depressions, please? No more. Please, promise me, don't make me feel upset anymore... its the last thing I want from you.
Living... still living. But for how long?
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start..
.
I still do.
Somehow. God will make a way. He has His plans. And I'll follow Him. How can I live without You?
Okay on the otherhand, and on a less serious note, this week's enrichment and e-learning D: week.
Tues I had nothing, so I stayed at home. Wed, and today was I.C.E workshop on entrepreneurship. (Innovative, Creativity and Entrepreneurship) It was fun. Makes me want to be an entrepreneur :O... but I'm not adventurous enough, nor talented enough. I'll probably end up with an office job. A normal job. NO!!!
But I've decided I won't! I want to grow up and have an extraordinary jobs! Well... something more interesting that a typical office job anyways. I'll work hard to be what God wants me to!
I do find a certain joy in card-making. It takes quite a while on one card, though. and coming back to entrepreneurship, I don't think its the best way to be financially viable, though enjoyable.
Hannah had a good point of spending more time on a hobby, than worrying about things I shouldn't. I do have some hobbies, but I need inspirations for those kinds, and I don't really get inspiration when I'm depressed, and when I do, its depressing inspiration. These are negative thoughts. Will someone remind me to stop that?
But yeah, a permanent hobby sounds nice. Okay, back to I.C.E, so we made this really fun card game, man so fun! XD We couldn't stop playing it. :O... and clay, and puzzles,
Okay, I've got to get back to e-learning. ):
Last thoughts for right now?
I just realized I like analyzing. XD But false conclusions can betray.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 9.35pm
Little much I can say at this point...
I know things are going to get better.
They are!!!! With God's grace. and
with His Love.
I'm going to live up to what I know. No more excuses.
I don't want anymore depressions, please? No more. Please, promise me, don't make me feel upset anymore... its the last thing I want from you.
Living... still living. But for how long?
I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start..
.
I still do.
Somehow. God will make a way. He has His plans. And I'll follow Him. How can I live without You?
Okay on the otherhand, and on a less serious note, this week's enrichment
and e-learning D: week.
Tues I had nothing, so I stayed at home. Wed, and today was I.C.E workshop on entrepreneurship. (Innovative, Creativity and Entrepreneurship) It was fun. Makes me want to be an entrepreneur :O... but I'm not adventurous enough, nor talented enough. I'll probably end up with an office job. A normal job. NO!!!
But I've decided I won't! I want to grow up and have an extraordinary jobs! Well... something more interesting that a typical office job anyways. I'll work hard to be what God wants me to!
I do find a certain joy in card-making. It takes quite a while on one card, though. and coming back to entrepreneurship, I don't think its the best way to be financially viable, though enjoyable.
Hannah had a good point of spending more time on a hobby, than worrying about things I shouldn't. I do have some hobbies, but I need inspirations for those kinds, and I don't really get inspiration when I'm depressed, and when I do, its depressing inspiration. These are negative thoughts. Will someone remind me to stop that?
But yeah, a permanent hobby sounds nice. Okay, back to I.C.E, so we made this really fun card game, man so fun! XD We couldn't stop playing it. :O... and clay, and puzzles,
Okay, I've got to get back to e-learning. ):
Last thoughts for right now?
I just realized I like analyzing. XD But false conclusions can betray.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 9.35pm
Give me a reason to smile.
21/05/09 19:33
I
need to have a chat with God.
I really need to trust right now.
I really need to trust right now.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 10.57pm
I really need to trust right now.
I really need to trust right now.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 10.57pm
A little reminder, that means a big thing.
20/05/09 18:21
'keeping
my appointment to pray'
I read this line on Bridget's blog, and I thought it was a good reminder for myself, and also one that I should pass on to the few readers (if I have any) on this blog.
The line itself needs no explanation, and I'll say as little about it as possible; we should take the time to think about it ourselves, and remember it ourselves, and speak to God ourselves.
It doesn't depend on if you feel like it. It doesn't depend on if you have nothing to say, or a lot. It doesn't depend on if you have not even a minute to spare. Its not dependent on if you forgot. It doesn't even depend on your mood. Its depends on your heart.
Do you need to be reminded to think about your latest tv drama, talk about the hottest movie star, the most popular fiction character in the best selling book?
Do you need to be prompted to hug your parents, or say I love you to the friends you care about, or to think about and worry about your friends who are in a difficult situation?
Its really simple. Do you care? Do you love? Or not?
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Please E.H, hurry up. D:x
Justine was thinking at 6.21pm
I read this line on Bridget's blog, and I thought it was a good reminder for myself, and also one that I should pass on to the few readers (if I have any) on this blog.
The line itself needs no explanation, and I'll say as little about it as possible; we should take the time to think about it ourselves, and remember it ourselves, and speak to God ourselves.
It doesn't depend on if you feel like it. It doesn't depend on if you have nothing to say, or a lot. It doesn't depend on if you have not even a minute to spare. Its not dependent on if you forgot. It doesn't even depend on your mood. Its depends on your heart.
Do you need to be reminded to think about your latest tv drama, talk about the hottest movie star, the most popular fiction character in the best selling book?
Do you need to be prompted to hug your parents, or say I love you to the friends you care about, or to think about and worry about your friends who are in a difficult situation?
Its really simple. Do you care? Do you love? Or not?
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Please E.H, hurry up. D:x
Justine was thinking at 6.21pm
19/05/09 20:48
Hello
hello, I know second post today, but yes, I'm feeling
so much better thank you very much. Thank You
God.
I think I need to stop panicking about everything, and really need to remember my own advice, LEAVE IT IN GOD"s HANDS!!!!!!!! Peace, for how long more? Please let it be long lasting...
I got contacts yesterday. Finally. But its going to take a while to get used to putting them on/ taking them off...
And I've got to snap back to work, and carissa wants it snappy, so later!
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 8.30pm
I think I need to stop panicking about everything, and really need to remember my own advice, LEAVE IT IN GOD"s HANDS!!!!!!!! Peace, for how long more? Please let it be long lasting...
I got contacts yesterday. Finally. But its going to take a while to get used to putting them on/ taking them off...
And I've got to snap back to work, and carissa wants it snappy, so later!
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 8.30pm
Temporary setbacks.
19/05/09 12:27
I
know how it appears, I make myself out to
be stronger, more carefree than I really am.
But I'm still a girl inside you know? I
have feelings too. I'm still a teen somewhere
there, I still have those feelings. I can
still fall easily, I can still cry for the most
ridiculous reasons. I can still feel petty over
silly details, but why not? Do I have to
follow every single rule? Is it very fair that
way? I'm not allowed to behave like a child at
all? You can't expect me to be rational all the
time. I try you know? I really do. But
sometimes its really hard, Cuz I AM still a
teen, and we are irrational people.
Sighs, I guess this lead back to my post on the 14th. (only 5 days ago? O.o... seems longer...) And this was the answer then, and is the answer now.
When I cry inside, I'll still remember
When I feel joy, I'll still recognize
When I feel hurt, I'll still know
With His help I can't stop caring,
And with Him, I know...
What I know.
And I guess He's given me that, so I can't just let it go. I have to live up to His expectations. What I know.
I know I've said this many times, but I'm begging again,
Help me God... I can't do this without you. And I'm sorry Lord.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
By grace... I HAVE to forgive you now...
I can never stay mad at you long. It seems.
Justine was thinking at 12.27pm
Sighs, I guess this lead back to my post on the 14th. (only 5 days ago? O.o... seems longer...) And this was the answer then, and is the answer now.
When I cry inside, I'll still remember
When I feel joy, I'll still recognize
When I feel hurt, I'll still know
With His help I can't stop caring,
And with Him, I know...
What I know.
And I guess He's given me that, so I can't just let it go. I have to live up to His expectations. What I know.
I know I've said this many times, but I'm begging again,
Help me God... I can't do this without you. And I'm sorry Lord.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
By grace... I HAVE to forgive you now...
I can never stay mad at you long. It seems.
Justine was thinking at 12.27pm
Back to simplicity
16/05/09 13:53
I'll
do what I know. I don’t care what the popular thing
to do is, I’ll do what’s right, I'll do what God
tells me to. Sadly, not everyone's like that.
If a picture paints a thousand words,
Living reality shows me the truth.
So now I'm back to the simple way of living, sort of like "back to basics". I'm not going to let all that junk control my life ever. Having just head knowledge is not just enough, experience helps too. Everyday I live is like an analysis of the world.
"... if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins."
-James 5:19-20
And God also says that those who cause/teach the innocent children to do wrong have committed great sin. Something along those lines.
Yesterday was tiring. Somethings just disappoint me.
Will we all mature one day? Will we ever understand?
I expect a lot. But why? Why did you decide to do that? Anyways, you can't give me what I need.
But anyways, thank God for everything. These past few days have been good for me. I don't understand somethings, but God works in mysterious ways. But at least now I know. Now I know. Now I know.
Should I ask? Should I clarify? Should I make things clear?
Or should I just let time play it out?
Loves,
Justme Justine.
I place no hope in you. But regardless my conclusions, she can't help loving you.
Justine was thinking at 1.53pm.
If a picture paints a thousand words,
Living reality shows me the truth.
So now I'm back to the simple way of living, sort of like "back to basics". I'm not going to let all that junk control my life ever. Having just head knowledge is not just enough, experience helps too. Everyday I live is like an analysis of the world.
"... if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins."
-James 5:19-20
And God also says that those who cause/teach the innocent children to do wrong have committed great sin. Something along those lines.
Yesterday was tiring. Somethings just disappoint me.
Will we all mature one day? Will we ever understand?
I expect a lot. But why? Why did you decide to do that? Anyways, you can't give me what I need.
But anyways, thank God for everything. These past few days have been good for me. I don't understand somethings, but God works in mysterious ways. But at least now I know. Now I know. Now I know.
Should I ask? Should I clarify? Should I make things clear?
Or should I just let time play it out?
Loves,
Justme Justine.
I place no hope in you. But regardless my conclusions, she can't help loving you.
Justine was thinking at 1.53pm.
What I know.
14/05/09 23:06
I
guess there's some challenge to having knowledge.
That's to living up to what you know.
When it hurts, how do I behave?
When it cuts, do I retaliate?
Or do I just let it go?
Do I just forgive?
Or do I hate
What I know
When I feel, how do I react?
When I fall, do I bounce back?
Or do I just let it go?
Do I just loose all control?
Do I love
What I know
When I see the trap ahead,
Do I let myself fall heels over head,
Do I practice the restraint I know I should?
Do I just let myself land into that net of adolescent hood?
What I know
When my help is rejected,
When my care is neglected,
When my love is ignored.
What do I do?
Do I forgive, and continue caring?
Do I do
What I know
Just cuz they cut me down,
Just cuz they don't listen.
Just cuz they shut the door in my face.
I won't stop caring.
And all because of
What I know
But sometimes its really so hard,
I fail time and time again. I lack that tact.
So do I just give up and ignore all that I know?
Do I just let the world take over and loose my values, my morals,
What I know
When I cry inside, I'll still remember
When I feel joy, I'll still recognize
When I feel hurt, I'll still know
With His help I can't stop caring,
And with Him, I know
What I know.
Awaits the Lord
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 11.16pm
When it hurts, how do I behave?
When it cuts, do I retaliate?
Or do I just let it go?
Do I just forgive?
Or do I hate
What I know
When I feel, how do I react?
When I fall, do I bounce back?
Or do I just let it go?
Do I just loose all control?
Do I love
What I know
When I see the trap ahead,
Do I let myself fall heels over head,
Do I practice the restraint I know I should?
Do I just let myself land into that net of adolescent hood?
What I know
When my help is rejected,
When my care is neglected,
When my love is ignored.
What do I do?
Do I forgive, and continue caring?
Do I do
What I know
Just cuz they cut me down,
Just cuz they don't listen.
Just cuz they shut the door in my face.
I won't stop caring.
And all because of
What I know
But sometimes its really so hard,
I fail time and time again. I lack that tact.
So do I just give up and ignore all that I know?
Do I just let the world take over and loose my values, my morals,
What I know
When I cry inside, I'll still remember
When I feel joy, I'll still recognize
When I feel hurt, I'll still know
With His help I can't stop caring,
And with Him, I know
What I know.
Awaits the Lord
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 11.16pm
Quickie that turned out not so quick after all.
12/05/09 19:28
Yes,
I'm acknowledging that I borrowed the title "Quickie"
from Vincent!!!! So I'm NOT like Jo. OKay ppl?!?!?
But I also changed the title a bit too. :P Anyways,
Haha not much up, just decided to be as close to normal as I can for once, and blog about what actually happened today.
Oh. Um not much actually. Amazingly, the day went by pretty fast... though I can imagine for those who are having mid-years, the experience might not be quite so um, similar. Anyways, jia you ppl.
Chinese was so funny... amazingly I understood more than half today's lesson. I guess that's cuz we watched a few video clips. I'm visual.
Yayness, I feel kinda happy knowing my two usually most trying days are past. (Monday being a holiday though
)
(and again, I remember and feel sorry for those who are having exams... to make you guys feel better, I think I should mention I have an Emath and SS test on thurs. X( Yeah, D: )
I won't have to worry about math tuition for the rest of the week too. Unfortunately, there's still
thurs. ): Always the day that makes me feel the
week will never end. Oh wellz.
I really thank God for giving me all I need at every point in my life. When I'm feeling down, even if at first it seems like things are just going to get worse, God turned things right around for me. And He's given me really great friends who help me to remember what I should be. So I must say, thanks God, for helping and never leaving me through it all, and thanks to Hannah, who really helped me get my perspectives right last night. Love ya Hans! God Bless you too!
I spent the whole of today at peace at heart. Do you know how long its been since I've felt completely at ease inside? Do you know how important that is to me? To actually feel that joy.
I don't know why, but life is never quite normal here! But I must remember always.
There's still conflicts that are to be resolved, but I'm now going to just leave them all in God's hands. And go where he leads me. I hope He blesses us all and grants us the grace and understanding. But I trust in Him. No matter what the appearances are, He always wants the best for us, and loves us so so much. I hope I can love like that one day...
So for all the capacity I have to now,
Loves!
Justme Justine.
Justme resumed thinking at 7.28pm
Haha not much up, just decided to be as close to normal as I can for once, and blog about what actually happened today.
Oh. Um not much actually. Amazingly, the day went by pretty fast... though I can imagine for those who are having mid-years, the experience might not be quite so um, similar. Anyways, jia you ppl.
Chinese was so funny... amazingly I understood more than half today's lesson. I guess that's cuz we watched a few video clips. I'm visual.
Yayness, I feel kinda happy knowing my two usually most trying days are past. (Monday being a holiday though
)
(and again, I remember and feel sorry for those who are having exams... to make you guys feel better, I think I should mention I have an Emath and SS test on thurs. X( Yeah, D: )
I won't have to worry about math tuition for the rest of the week too.
Unfortunately, there's still
thurs. ): Always the day that makes me feel the
week will never end. Oh wellz.
I really thank God for giving me all I need at every point in my life. When I'm feeling down, even if at first it seems like things are just going to get worse, God turned things right around for me. And He's given me really great friends who help me to remember what I should be. So I must say, thanks God, for helping and never leaving me through it all, and thanks to Hannah, who really helped me get my perspectives right last night. Love ya Hans!
God Bless you too!
I spent the whole of today at peace at heart. Do you know how long its been since I've felt completely at ease inside? Do you know how important that is to me? To actually feel that joy.
I don't know why, but life is never quite normal here!
But I must remember always.
There's still conflicts that are to be resolved, but I'm now going to just leave them all in God's hands. And go where he leads me. I hope He blesses us all and grants us the grace and understanding. But I trust in Him. No matter what the appearances are, He always wants the best for us, and loves us so so much. I hope I can love like that one day...
So for all the capacity I have to now,
Loves!
Justme Justine.
Justme resumed thinking at 7.28pm
Makes another crash landing.
11/05/09 20:33
I'm
just sick and tired of the facts being thrown back
into my face time and time again. I'm tired of being
young. I've been tired of being a teen for a long
time. I KNOW. I know where I stand and I know what I
should do.
These are negative emotions. I'm not going to vent anymore.
I guess that's all there is to it.
I guess I should have known all along...
I guess I did.
Resigned.
And given up the fight,
there's no point anymore.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Is there hope?
No there's none.
Justine stopped thinking at 8.34pm
These are negative emotions. I'm not going to vent anymore.
I guess that's all there is to it.
I guess I should have known all along...
I guess I did.
Resigned.
And given up the fight,
there's no point anymore.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Is there hope?
No there's none.
Justine stopped thinking at 8.34pm
Mother's day.
10/05/09 16:51
Happy
Mother's day all mothers out there!!!
Lol including me... :X Domi sent me a message this morning, (Unfortunately disturbing me during P&W >.< but I looked at it after communion.)
"Happy mother's day xP"
evil domi! xD Haha..... Domi and Hans are calling me mom now. -.-
Btw, things are going to be okay. Thank you everyone who has been
such a support to me in times of um... doubt. :X
Anyways, I told you that I was just temporarily
down. Yaynessestictismness.
I thought today's sermon was... erm............ disturbing. D: I don't mean to criticize, but I do disagree with some of the um points made. If any points were made... I guess we're more used to um... Adriel's lessons. But I managed to learn a bit today too. And my parents and I had a loooooong convo during lunch. Too much to put down, we discussed the Holy Spirit, which was the topic of today's "sermon". And we also discussed some other stuff. xD. I guess it was all good for me. Thank you God for teaching me too. (: I hope I remember everything for as long as possible...
Oooooh and I love one of the songs they sang in praise and worship today. (P&W is like the best part of service) Its called "He knows my name"
I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call
I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call
They are so meaningful... He knows my name... He knows my every thought... He sees each tear that falls... and He hears me when I call...
Amen.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
If only I can get off this unending roller-coaster ride, but I know I can't so I'll just have to cope... and with God's love and grace, I will... I must.
If only there was a less painful way. D:
RAY THE LETTER!!!
Justine was thinking and thanking God for her life at 4.51pm.
Lol including me... :X Domi sent me a message this morning, (Unfortunately disturbing me during P&W >.< but I looked at it after communion.)
"Happy mother's day xP"
evil domi! xD Haha..... Domi and Hans are calling me mom now. -.-
Btw, things are going to be okay.
Thank you everyone who has been
such a support to me in times of um... doubt. :X
Anyways, I told you that I was just temporarily
down. Yaynessestictismness.
I thought today's sermon was... erm............ disturbing. D: I don't mean to criticize, but I do disagree with some of the um points made. If any points were made... I guess we're more used to um... Adriel's lessons. But I managed to learn a bit today too. And my parents and I had a loooooong convo during lunch. Too much to put down, we discussed the Holy Spirit, which was the topic of today's "sermon". And we also discussed some other stuff. xD. I guess it was all good for me. Thank you God for teaching me too. (: I hope I remember everything for as long as possible...
Oooooh and I love one of the songs they sang in praise and worship today. (P&W is like the best part of service) Its called "He knows my name"
I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call
I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call
They are so meaningful... He knows my name... He knows my every thought... He sees each tear that falls... and He hears me when I call...
Amen.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
If only I can get off this unending roller-coaster ride, but I know I can't so I'll just have to cope... and with God's love and grace, I will... I must.
If only there was a less painful way. D:
RAY THE LETTER!!!
Justine was thinking and thanking God for her life at 4.51pm.
I'm falling, I'm falling.
08/05/09 21:44
Title
says it all.
This is horrible.
.
And yes, I made myself miss the chance again.
.
But it was again war within.
.
Why did you have to make it so difficult? Why?!?!?
.
It was tough on me. Not that I'm blaming you, but...
.
I'm sorry.
.
itsallmyfaultitsallmyfaultitsallmyfaultitsallmyfaultitsallmyfaultitsallmyfault... i let it happen. I'm supposed to be older, I'm supposed to have better sense/control/whatever. ):
God, please... help us all.
And yes, I completely agree with Mrs Lee's point today. We have to take our stand as christians, and we shouldn't just go with the flow to look cool, if we know that its wrong. We shouldn't just follow blindly, if we did, that would make us no different from non-believers.
God bless. You.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
(ShE loVeS.)
P.s. Yes you should probably ignore this post. Its just one of my emotional rants again. hahaha... (:
yes, i'm putting on a mask. hiding my true feelings with a smile.
Justine was thinking at 9.44pm
This is horrible.
.
And yes, I made myself miss the chance again.
.
But it was again war within.
.
Why did you have to make it so difficult? Why?!?!?
.
It was tough on me. Not that I'm blaming you, but...
.
I'm sorry.
.
itsallmyfaultitsallmyfaultitsallmyfaultitsallmyfaultitsallmyfaultitsallmyfault... i let it happen. I'm supposed to be older, I'm supposed to have better sense/control/whatever. ):
God, please... help us all.
And yes, I completely agree with Mrs Lee's point today. We have to take our stand as christians, and we shouldn't just go with the flow to look cool, if we know that its wrong. We shouldn't just follow blindly, if we did, that would make us no different from non-believers.
God bless. You.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
(ShE loVeS.)
P.s. Yes you should probably ignore this post. Its just one of my emotional rants again. hahaha... (:
yes, i'm putting on a mask. hiding my true feelings with a smile.
Justine was thinking at 9.44pm
Holes to be filled.
06/05/09 22:20
You know
those periods of time when you're just not sure of
your feelings?
Yeah, those times.
Or if you are, you're just in denial...
Figure out the empty spaces in life.
And you'll finally find the answers you're looking for.
Tell me if you aren't serious. So I'll know how to handle this.
No more holes, no more emptiness.
God, you fill me, you Love me, you know me.
Lord,
Heal me.
I need you to ask, just one more time.
Cuz I can't hold off anymore. I can't lie anymore, to you, to myself...
I promise you, I'll tell the truth, if you show me I can trust you.
If God tells me its time to.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 10.20pm.
Yeah, those times.
Or if you are, you're just in denial...
Figure out the empty spaces in life.
And you'll finally find the answers you're looking for.
Tell me if you aren't serious. So I'll know how to handle this.
No more holes, no more emptiness.
God, you fill me, you Love me, you know me.
Lord,
Heal me.
I need you to ask, just one more time.
Cuz I can't hold off anymore. I can't lie anymore, to you, to myself...
I promise you, I'll tell the truth, if you show me I can trust you.
If God tells me its time to.
Loves,
Justme Justine.
Justine was thinking at 10.20pm.
May. (in lack of ability to think of a more original title.)
05/05/09 21:40
Haha,
okay I've figured out how to prioritize my work, and
no the pressure isn't getting less, but I've figured
out how to spread it over a larger surface. Of course
that means there'll be more force, but yeah you get
the idea.
How can I trust you?
Oh wait. That's physics. Pressure in a water column...
Yay, at least I learnt SOMETHING at school today.
all you ever do is let me down after all...
A math test today. Thank God that it was okay. Poor HJ though. Don't worry! I must keep with remembering just how important grades are. Its what you learn that's the most important! Not the grade you get at the end of the day! (I sound like Ms Lau! :X) More tests next week, this week's quite light. They rescheduled the physics to the last day eight of this term, cuz it clashed with today's a math, then next weeks e math and socials.
Anyways, LOL. We have the most amusing conversations during recess.
You guys are the best!
you raise my hopes, just dash them again against the sharp rocks
"You'll marry for money!"
"Nah, she won't."
"See? I told you so."
***
"She'll marry for fame!!!"
LOL. But those de-stressing moments keep me alive xD after intensely confusing physics. (Which I got today!!! YAY.)
i can't let myself fall right?
Hahaha.... I won't marry for money or fame. Those are temporary things... I'll definitely marry someone I truly love for who he is and know God wants me to marry. And someone who loves me for who I
am, for my personality, and the inside, not the
outside shell. ;D Someone who is godly, and
Loves God.
Unfortunately, I don't have any faith in our generation, and guys like that and what Hans/Esther/I are dreaming for are not easy to come by. LOL. Seriously, find me a guy who Loves God... I'd like to know him. (But if there's on guy left like that, we all plan to fight for him ;D JKJK.)
that would be folly for us all
Okay, enough of chit chat. Why am I talking about marriage anyways? A little early. xD I still have many years of living single to go! ;D And I'm the one who said it was weird to think about marriage now. HAHA. But its intriguing..... I really do wonder...
And I have to strap down to work. And yes, I'm only pouring all of my opinions out cuz I believe no one visits this blog, so if you have been visiting, please drop me an email, and let me know to censor my posts. xD
looks like I'm wishing for something impossible...
Loves,
Justme Justine.
For you to truly care...
Justine was busy thinking at 9.40pm.
How can I trust you?
Oh wait. That's physics. Pressure in a water column...
Yay, at least I learnt SOMETHING at school today.
all you ever do is let me down after all...
A math test today. Thank God that it was okay. Poor HJ though. Don't worry! I must keep with remembering just how important grades are. Its what you learn that's the most important! Not the grade you get at the end of the day! (I sound like Ms Lau! :X) More tests next week, this week's quite light. They rescheduled the physics to the last day eight of this term, cuz it clashed with today's a math, then next weeks e math and socials.
Anyways, LOL. We have the most amusing conversations during recess.
You guys are the best!
you raise my hopes, just dash them again against the sharp rocks
"You'll marry for money!"
"Nah, she won't."
"See? I told you so."
***
"She'll marry for fame!!!"
LOL. But those de-stressing moments keep me alive xD after intensely confusing physics. (Which I got today!!! YAY.)
i can't let myself fall right?
Hahaha.... I won't marry for money or fame. Those are temporary things... I'll definitely marry someone I truly love for who he is and know God wants me to marry.
And someone who loves me for who I
am, for my personality, and the inside, not the
outside shell. ;D Someone who is godly, and
Loves God.
Unfortunately, I don't have any faith in our generation, and guys like that and what Hans/Esther/I are dreaming for are not easy to come by. LOL. Seriously, find me a guy who Loves God... I'd like to know him. (But if there's on guy left like that, we all plan to fight for him ;D JKJK.)
that would be folly for us all
Okay, enough of chit chat. Why am I talking about marriage anyways? A little early. xD I still have many years of living single to go! ;D And I'm the one who said it was weird to think about marriage now. HAHA. But its intriguing..... I really do wonder...
And I have to strap down to work. And yes, I'm only pouring all of my opinions out cuz I believe no one visits this blog, so if you have been visiting, please drop me an email, and let me know to censor my posts. xD
looks like I'm wishing for something impossible...
Loves,
Justme Justine.
For you to truly care...
Justine was busy thinking at 9.40pm.
